How much of your day-to-day work activity is conducted by phone? Twenty-five percent? Fifty percent? “Oh, Emily,” you say to me quite happily, “It’s way down and I’m so much more productive! Why with e-mail, there aren’t many people I have to actually talk to anymore!”

This is not a good thing. Harry Beckwith spoke to this point in his now classic 1997 book, Selling the Invisible. Clients who buy expert services that include knowledge, advice, opinions, guidance and recommendations assume that we are expert because they really have no way to evaluate it. What service buyers are really buying are relationships. Beckwith says, “If you’re selling a service, you’re selling a relationship.”

Strong relationships are built on trust. Trust is created from a variety of things: Believing the other person has your best interest in mind, having common interests or experiences, discovering mutual connections, and having confidence that the person you are buying from will deliver on what he or she promises.

I’ve heard many people say, “We can do all that without talking!” or, “It’s much more productive to use e-mail.” I don’t think so.

Of course information can be requested, exchanged and confirmed without ever hearing someone’s voice. But what do you learn when you listen to and hear a customer? Perhaps an even better question is: What’s lost by not personally connecting? And consider the customer’s side. What do customers gain when they hear, listen and talk to you? How do customers feel when you take the time to call?

My client, Julie, a managing general agent, recently shared this story with me. It had been months since she had spoken with one of her top-producing agents. She knows how busy he is and had decided on her own that the best way to provide fast and efficient service was electronically.

Following a customer service workshop we conducted in her office, she decided to call him. She said she almost fainted when he picked up his phone. He forwards his office calls to his mobile number. He was thrilled to hear from her and, yes, he had time to talk. Not only did they talk about the business at hand, in 10 minutes she learned what was happening in his agency, talked about other business opportunities between them, and shared personal stories. As she told me the story, she beamed. She couldn’t believe how good it felt to connect live.

Julie’s experience confirmed what I believe. Live talk personalizes relationships. Expressive dialogue reveals passion and interest. “How is your baby?” “Please tell me about the class you attended yesterday.” “What’s new at your company?” “What’s new in your life?” “We would love for you to attend the educational seminar we’re hosting next month. Can we reserve a place for you?”

Effective use of the telephone, rather than e-mail, distinguishes a person as a professional and a relationship builder. Strong relationships position an agent or underwriter to write and retain business, help an accounting associate better understand a billing question in order to answer it correctly, or give a claim representative an opportunity to empathize and personally connect with a claimant going through an unfortunate situation.

Here are some reminders for professional, purposeful, and productive phone conversations:

Sound pleasant, helpful, and appreciative. My mother frequently told me, “You can’t always be happy, but you owe it to the world to be cheerful.” This is especially true over the phone. Your attitude comes through loud and clear to the customer. For incoming calls, does the caller hear a welcoming, helpful CSR or a person who feels hassled and busy?

When your phone rings, before answering take a deep breath and smile, then answer the phone. Let the caller hear that smile in your voice. Stop doing whatever it is you were doing to focus your undivided attention on the caller. Not paying attention creates mistakes and, besides that, it is rude. Customers can tell when you’re half listening to them.

For outgoing calls, show respect for your customer’s time by being prepared with questions or answers. Be friendly and personable. Make your customer glad to have spoken with you. In all calls, articulate appreciation for their business.

What do your customers hear when they get your outgoing voice mail message? No one wants to get a recorded answering machine, much less one that sounds bored and unresponsive. Outgoing messages should sound upbeat and enthusiastic to give the caller confidence that her return call or request will be handled quickly.

Assess and respond to the customer’s mood, tone and style. Whether the call is incoming or outgoing, be alert to customer cues. If a normally talkative customer is abrupt or seems rushed, avoid a long conversation. Ask if there is a better time to call. If something is bothering your customer and the relationship is strong, your conversation may reveal a concern that you can help with or you may simply be able to provide an empathetic and listening ear.

Prepare for the call. Top professionals plan their conversations. Create a call agenda that includes an opening, content and a close. Open the call with appropriate pleasantries, then state clearly, “I’m calling about ABC. I have a few questions (or answers to your questions). Do you have time to talk about it now?” Work from a list of issues one by one.

Always make notes on what is said. Making notes during a conversation aids listening and allows you to go back to what was said to build or clarify a point. Business conversations should always end with a summary of the discussion or a review of the next step you or your customer agreed on. “Greg, thanks for getting me all this information. I have what I need to underwrite and price the account. I’ll have our proposal to you by Thursday.”

Effective language builds relationships and earns trust. Use proper customer service language to avoid distancing yourself from your customer or implying a lack of responsibility. Shift the focus to the business at hand by replacing disconcerting remarks with reassuring ones.

Customers want to connect with you live if your exchanges of ideas help them get the best insurance coverage and services you can offer to improve their bottom line. Lowering your customer’s overall cost of insurance requires acquiring information that isn’t always obtainable via electronic means.

Alexander Graham Bell would be pleased to know that even with the numerous electronic communication choices available today, it’s his voice connection invention that continues to be the most valuable and profitable. Isn’t it great that an old and simple technology can help accomplish that?