Connecting and communicating on a personal level
Adopting different communication styles is not a
matter of “us vs. them” … . Instead, think of it as a multi-generational partnership.
By Kari Glennon
Early on in their sales career, most producers experience call reluctance. It’s the hesitation to call someone you don’t know for fear of being rejected. Maybe you’ll say something stupid. Maybe the person who picks up the phone will say something you don’t want to hear or possibly be rude. Or maybe the person we’re calling will ask us a question we can’t answer.
All of us who are management level and up have experienced it. But we’ve also had sales leaders who understood how we felt. Having been newbies in the industry themselves, they used personal stories and examples to reassure new producers and help them overcome their fears. It also helps producers develop their sales skills.
Currently, there are five generations in the workplace:
- Traditionalists/The Silent Generation—Born 1928-1945 (78-95 years old)
- Baby Boomers—Born 1946-1964 (59-77 years old)
- Generation X—Born 1965-1980 (43-58 years old)
- Millennials—Born 1981-1996 (27-42 years old)
- Generation Z—Born 1997-2013 (11-26 years old)
Our newest generations in the workforce approach communication differently than their predecessors. To millennials and members of Generation Z, phones are used for texting, not calling and talking to someone. According to recent research, nine out of 10 Gen Zers would rather send texts than have phone conversations. To them, a text is more than a preference; it’s often the only way they know to communicate. Consequently, the call reluctance that we experienced may elicit a far more extreme reaction among younger producers, something akin to a full-blown panic attack!
As younger generations emerge in the workforce, it’s vitally important that we understand how their communication style has evolved, and how we can combine it with our traditional ways of interacting with others. The differences are striking.
For example, just think about how differently we socialized growing up. If you’re a baby boomer, you went out on dates to get to know a person. For boys, that meant asking a girl either in person or on the phone to go to a movie, a dance or some other event. Making that dreaded first contact took courage. What if she said no? What if you said something silly? Gradually, and with abundant practice, the nervousness and awkwardness faded, and conversation came naturally.
The same is true of phone conversations. When I was a child, I remember my mother teaching me how to answer the phone. Before I was ever allowed to pick up an incoming call, she had me practice what to say countless times.
Me: Hello/Hello, Acosta residence.
Caller: May I speak to your mother?
Me: May I ask who is calling/Who’s calling, please?
Caller: Jane Smith
Me: Just a moment, please/I’m sorry, she can’t come to the phone right now. May I take a message?
I was also taught how to respond politely but assertively when solicitors or other strangers called. Finally, I learned how to listen closely so that I could relay phone messages to other family members. Repetition allowed me to perfect my phone skills and feel comfortable taking and making calls at a young age.
Compare that with the way millennials and Gen Z have grown up. While talking to other people comes naturally to us (after lots of practice), younger generations don’t have the benefit of our experience. Almost exclusively, their “conversations” and peer-to-peer contacts have taken place via an electronic device, when and where it is convenient for them. Unlike in-person communication, text messages and voice mail allow them to edit their words, thereby eliminating any stammering or stumbling. Once their perfectly polished message is sent, they don’t have to witness/worry about the recipient’s reaction.
Furthermore, as a text recipient, they haven’t known the pressure of reacting spontaneously. In many cases, texting is how they’ve asked for first dates and possibly how they’ve executed their first breakup. That makes our ideas about communicating seem very frightening.
Not surprisingly, the best way to contact someone in the 18-40 age range is to do it digitally, as I learned from personal experience. One of the last people I managed on the agency side was a recent college graduate who typically took several days (or more) to respond to my emails. When I finally asked her about it, she admitted she didn’t check her email regularly. Instead, she communicated almost exclusively through instant messaging and texting. Once I began reaching out to her that way, she always replied to me immediately, the same way older generations respond right away to email and phone calls.
You’ve probably heard people who are middle-aged or older cite public speaking as their number-one fear. In fact, most baby boomers will say they fear speaking on stage in front of a group more than dying! Now, multiply that same feeling of dread by 10, and that’s how several millennials and Gen Zers feel about answering the phone. I’m not talking about initiating a phone call, but simply answering the phone. Typically, it’s because they don’t want to be put on the spot for fear of being unprepared (“I don’t know who’s calling.” “I’m not ready to speak with them.” “What if I can’t answer their question?”, etc.). Being unable to control their environment can make them feel extremely anxious.
Although they may never completely conquer these very deep-seated fears, it’s critical that they become more comfortable interacting the way their clients and older colleagues do. I’m not just talking about the producers, but the service teams, too. They must be able to interact with people on the phone. If you’re in the position of managing these budding new professionals in our relationship-based business, there are ways you can help them.
- Provide low-risk practice. Implementing low-risk practice requires an environment where it’s not only acceptable, but where people are encouraged to make mistakes. This means creating a safe space where no one is embarrassed, harassed or ridiculed. It must be an atmosphere where the person who is practicing a skill can trust that others are trying to help them be their best.
- Create a script. As the mother of a millennial and two Gen Zers, I have seen them freeze when I’ve asked them to make or answer a phone call. What seems simple to us is a terrifying prospect to them. That’s why we go over what (and what not) to say.
For instance, I’ll put calls on speaker so that my teenagers can hear what’s involved in a normal conversation and sometimes join in (depending on who’s on the other end). Another day, I might have them call the dentist to check on an appointment time. They resisted at first because they had no idea what to say or even how to ask a question! I found it helpful to loosely script what to expect and how to respond. “After they pick up and say the name of the office, you respond by saying hello and giving them your name. Next, ask if they would please tell you what time your appointment is on the 20th. After they give you the time, thank them and say goodbye.” Having a scripted sample conversation goes a long way in conquering call reluctance. - Be vulnerable. If you expect your producers to be vulnerable then, as sales leaders, you must also be vulnerable. This might mean practicing something you’ve never done before in front of the group. No one is perfect the first time they express a thought or pitch an idea. Think of an upcoming conversation you’re planning that you haven’t had before and then practice presenting it to your sales team. Show them what it looks like to be vulnerable and then ask them for feedback. They will feel less stressed about venturing into unknown territory.
- Be flexible. Many agencies with office phones have a Do Not Disturb (DND) policy, which allows staff members to work without phone interruptions during a specified time (for example, from 10 a.m. to 12 p.m.). However, DND does not give them permission to ignore incoming calls. Team members must still respond to voicemail.
Also, the agency should have a recorded message that says they’ll be contacting the caller within a certain timeframe (within four hours, by the end of the business day, etc.). This is ideal for call-reluctant team members who want to provide excellent service without being interrupted or put on the spot by a caller.
A closing thought
Communication is not about relaying information; it’s about connecting with others. Because technology can help us do that, we should embrace it enthusiastically. At the same time, we mustn’t ignore the importance of personal skills, such as the ability to make eye contact, listen carefully, shake hands and make small talk. It’s a two-way street, not an either-or proposition.
These days, effective communication requires the technological expertise that our younger generations possess and the personal skills that baby boomers and their parents grew up with.
As boomers retire and the workforce becomes predominantly youthful, it’s vital that we recognize how they prefer to communicate and make room for that. Similarly, success-minded millennials and Gen Zers should consider incorporating a more personal touch in their interactions with older clients.
Adopting different communication styles is not a matter of “us vs. them”; this is not a contest of wills. Instead, think of it as a multi-generational partnership. You might be surprised how much we can learn from one another.
The author
Kari Glennon, a sales and marketing professional within the insurance industry with nearly 25 years of experience, is a senior consultant at Sitkins Group, Inc. The majority of those years were spent in the independent agency world. She has been an owner and partner of a firm, perpetuated her firm externally, and spent time as the chief sales officer for one of the largest middle-market insurance agencies in the nation.
Her true passion is to deliver strategy, inspiration, insurance knowledge, and coaching for independent insurance agencies. She is fluent in property and casualty, employee benefits, life insurance, and captives.
Kari lives in the Pacific Northwest. In her free time, she enjoys traveling, sailing in the Puget Sound, nature walks with her dogs and spending time with her three children.
