How anxiety looks and feels will be
different for each person experiencing it
According to the World Health Organization, 4% of the population has an anxiety disorder,
making anxiety disorders the most common of all mental disorders.
By Meg McKeen, CIC
Before we dive into this month’s column, let me offer this quick heads up that I am not a clinician or trained mental health practitioner—simply an insurance professional who’s navigated a 25-year career while also navigating anxiety, and it’s through that lens that I share these ideas with you today.
Is that feeling anxiety?
Simply stated, anxiety is your body’s response to a threat (no matter if it’s perceived or real). According to the World Health Organization, 4% of the population has an anxiety disorder, making anxiety disorders the most common of all mental disorders.
Whether you are navigating an anxiety diagnosis or are simply increasing your own awareness of your own anxious thoughts and tendencies, how anxiety looks, and feels, will be different for each person experiencing it. And someone may be experiencing it even if it’s not apparent to you. Many individuals have learned how to mask their anxious tendencies, to compensate for them, and even to leverage them.
Nausea, a pounding heart, and sweating are some of the most common physical indications of anxiety, but the ways it manifests may be more subtle, too. Individuals will often share about their racing thoughts—I call it my “busy brain,” an inability to concentrate—and generally feeling stressed. You may relate to terms like “anxiety spiral” or the “piling on” that can occur when anxious thoughts are sparked.
But I’m not anxious
While you may not be navigating your own anxiety journey, it’s very possible that a close colleague, client, or friend may be. Your ability to bring awareness to how it might be impacting them, and your organization as a result, is an opportunity to extend compassion and support, strengthening your relationship.
Anxiety at work
If you’ve been a “Let’s Lead” reader for a while, you know that I don’t believe in the separation of our “work” self and “personal” self. When we bring all of the parts of ourselves to the work we do, we can bring depth and richness to the relationships we nurture. When it comes to anxiety, however, it may appear differently in the workplace than in your homeplace.
Here are some scenarios I commonly see that might be fueled by anxiety:
- Maybe you’re quick to make a decision—and then you do lots of second guessing about that decision after the fact. Or perhaps you freeze when faced with a choice because the unknown can feel so risky, renouncing the decision-making to someone else or even letting the proverbial clock run down so you don’t have to make a decision at all.
- Playing it safe. I always love sharing about risk-taking with insurance professionals. If you’re like me, you might identify as being risk-averse, shying away from anything that feels even remotely risky. You may hesitate to speak up in a meeting, to raise your hand for a promotion, or ask a potential client for their business.
- How many times have you noticed a typo and wished you could recall the email after it’s been sent? Or delayed sending it altogether so you could delete and then add back an exclamation point.
Or maybe it’s bigger-picture perfectionism for you, like taking a new job and then realizing it isn’t the right fit. Or choosing not to share your original thoughts on social media because of what your co-worker from 15 years ago might think. - Working through lunch, vacation, or life can be a symptom of your anxiety. Do you struggle to shut down, saying “just one more email” to yourself as you pour another cup of coffee or pop open another energy drink?
Just relax! And other unhelpful advice
Have you ever told an anxious person to “just relax?” I highly recommend that you don’t.
In a recent article on self.com, renowned expert on anxiety David Rosmarin, Ph.D., the founder of Center for Anxiety and the author of Thriving with Anxiety, shared: “The way to relax is by going through anxiety, not by going around it or resisting it.”
In my lived experience, this is where the work begins, and can include:
- Checking in with yourself. Are you getting good rest? Are you drinking enough water and moving your body with intention? Do you recognize how your anxiety is affected by different substances (eliminating caffeine and alcohol has been so restorative for me)?
If your response to these questions creates an anxious response in and of itself, know that you don’t have to overhaul your life; small, deliberate changes each day can lead to longer-term shifts. - Letting your mind wander. If you’re feeling indecisive or resisting a risk, letting your mind go to that dark, perhaps negative, place can be informative. So often, the scenario you’ve envisioned—that worst-case scenario—is very unlikely to occur.
When our anxiety is heightened and we “catastrophize” in this way, we lose sight of the implausibility of these outcomes, and having this shift in perspective can be an important level-set. - Looking for the evidence. As humans, we take risks every day, simply by existing in this world. As humans, we also tend to have a very short memory when it comes to recalling the risks we’ve taken that actually worked out for us.
Spend some time cataloging the risks you’ve taken in your life (I like journaling in this case). Risk-taking is like a muscle, and yours might be stronger than you realize. - How are your boundaries? I’ve written about boundaries before but, when navigating anxiety, setting and holding boundaries is key. Are you saying too many yeses and not enough nos?
You’re not alone
As you navigate your own experience with anxiety, in addition to the ideas shared here, you might find these additional resources helpful, too:
The Anatomy of Anxiety: Understanding and Overcoming the Body’s Fear Response, a book by Ellen Vora
Anxious in Austin, a podcast
As they are accessible to you, counseling services provided through your health insurance program or your employer-sponsored Employee Assistance Program
Engaging with an executive coach
Whether for yourself or someone you may be worried about, for crisis support now, call or text to “988” or chat online at 988lifeline.org.
No matter the path you choose, know that you don’t have to navigate this alone.
The author
Meg McKeen, CIC, founded Adjunct Advisors LLC in 2018 with the simple belief that we can and must do more to support the individuals who choose a career in the insurance industry. Now in her 25th year, Meg’s experience working in underwriting, leadership, and sales within the industry informs her work as a consultant today, in which Meg now holds space, at the crossroads of personal and professional development, for insurance professionals as they navigate their shifting relationship with work and this current hard market. Meg’s work includes private and small group coaching, workshop facilitation, industry event speaking and planning engagements, and the podcast she hosts, Bound & DeterminedSM. Learn more at www.adjunctadvisors.com.
