Feelings drive thoughts,
behavior, and ultimately results
While [emotional intelligence] levels are decreasing,
demand is increasing as organizations recognize EI as a crucial skill.
By Kimberly Paterson, CEC
Trevor was a superstar in business development. But when promoted to the role of COO, his star began to lose its luster. In his annual performance review, Trevor gave himself high marks for his accomplishments and ability to motivate the team. But his 360-degree feedback, human resources complaint log and employee turnover statistics told a different story.
Peers and direct reports described him as “temperamental,” “insensitive to others’ feelings,” “unapproachable” and “a poor communicator.” When the feedback was shared with Trevor, he was taken aback by his team members’ comments.
Like many people entering the management ranks, Trevor lacks the core emotional intelligence (EI) skills needed to navigate the interpersonal relationships that are vital to his success as a leader.
Defining emotional intelligence
Emotional intelligence is the capacity to identify and understand emotions in yourself and others, and the ability to use your awareness to manage your behavior and relationships with others. There are multiple EI models, each with its own—but similar—definition of the competencies. Dr. Travis Bradberry, a leading authority in the practical application of EI in the modern workplace, says it encompasses four pillars:
- Self-awareness. The ability to accurately perceive your emotions in the moment and understand your triggers and blind spots.
- Self-management. Using your emotional awareness to stay flexible and positively direct your behavior, especially under pressure.
- Social awareness. Your ability to read social cues and accurately pick up on emotions in other people to understand what is truly happening beneath the surface.
- Relationship management. Using your awareness of your own and others’ emotions to manage interactions successfully, including conflict resolution and trust-building.
Why emotional intelligence is a highly valued skill
Leadership is about getting others to perform, and emotional intelligence is key to driving high performance. Whether we recognize it or not, there is a direct link between how people feel and the way they do their jobs. Feelings drive thoughts, behaviors and actions.
For example, employees who fear their manager’s overreaction will hesitate to share any information that may trigger their boss. The employees who feel heard and valued will work harder to maintain their managers’ confidence.
Leaders with high EI know how to express themselves clearly and actively listen, which reduces misunderstandings, strengthens teamwork and increases productivity. They show empathy and self-awareness, which builds trust and loyalty. They can tap into what motivates team members to maximize performance. Their EI enables them to tackle difficult conversations, see and address underlying conflicts and find solutions while preserving relationships.
As machines take on more of the technical and processing work, leaders are left with the “messy” job of managing people. Human beings are complicated. Persuading them to collaborate, align on goals, adapt to change, and function under stress—all while getting along with each other—is no easy task. Hours of valuable time and energy are squandered, and projects are derailed because of individuals’ misunderstandings, poor communication and inability to manage emotions.
The challenge is increasingly complex in a culture where divisiveness and lack of civility have become the norm and people are more easily overwhelmed and triggered by others’ behavior.
Emotional intelligence on the decline
Evidence shows that EI is declining. Global research organization Six Seconds conducted a large-scale study of 28,000 adults in 166 countries between 2019 and 2023 that showed a 5.8% decline in overall EI scores. Declines were reported across all eight categories measured, including empathy, navigating emotions and self-control.
Daniel Goldman, the foundational authority responsible for bringing EI into the mainstream, reported that the latest data collected by researchers who monitor EI every two years found multiple declines. The most significant decrease was in people’s ability to manage their emotions, which makes them more prone to outrage, anxiety and panic. The deterioration is sharpest in younger generations.
Six Seconds, the organization behind the world’s largest ongoing study of EI, confirms in its 2024 State of the Heart report that Gen Z registers significant declines in the ability to navigate emotions and shows the lowest overall EI scores of any generation.
While EI levels are decreasing, demand is increasing as organizations recognize EI as a crucial skill. In its 2024 Future of Jobs Survey, the World Economic Forum ranked EI as a top-10 skill for 2025. That’s because research shows a strong correlation between EI and performance.
Dr. Travis Bradberry, co-author of Emotional Intelligence 2.0, has conducted extensive research to quantify the impact of EI on workplace success. His findings indicate that “EI is the strongest predictor accounting for 58% of success in all types of jobs with approximately 90% of top performers possessing high EI and only 20% of bottom performers.”
A major EI effectiveness study conducted at L’Oréal found that employees with high EI skills outsold other salespeople by an average of $91,370 annually, resulting in a net revenue increase of $2,558,360.
The turnover rate of the employees hired for their strong EI skills was 63% lower than that of the employees elected through a standard hiring procedure.
The shortage of workers with EI skills is a growing concern for leaders. According to McKinsey Global Institute research, 87% of companies are experiencing skills gaps or expect them within a few years, as they shift from hiring employees with traditional skills to those with soft skills.
The challenge is not new. PwC’s 2020 Annual CEO Survey forecasted the growing need for soft skills to address the imminent skill gap as technology transforms the workplace.
Red flags for a low emotional intelligence
As recognition of the value of EI grows, more organizations are incorporating EI assessments into their hiring process and leadership potential evaluations. Quality assessments can be easily obtained for $250 to $300. If your organization doesn’t have the benefit of unbiased professional EI assessments, here are nine behaviors to look for in potential new hires and leadership candidates:
- Inability to express their feelings. They use vague descriptions such as bad, good or upset rather than more specific emotions such as angry, frustrated, afraid, confident or enthusiastic.
- Lack personal accountability. They’re quick to blame others or circumstances when things go wrong rather than recognizing and owning their responsibility.
- Easily stressed and overwhelmed and prone to emotional outbursts. They react intensely to setbacks or frustrations in ways that are disproportionate to the situation.
- Inability to “read the room.” They often miss cues such as tone or body language and fail to sense other reactions. Ill-timed use of humor or an inappropriate comment can make them appear insensitive. They typically lack awareness of how others view them and are often surprised when people misunderstand them or misinterpret their actions.
- Need to be right. They hold strong opinions and have trouble considering alternative perspectives or admitting when they may be wrong.
- Low tolerance for others’ differences. They struggle to accept people who don’t share their values, ways of working, background or political beliefs.
- Self-absorbed. They dominate the conversation and show little empathy or interest in others’ experiences, accomplishments or interests.
- Defensive. Corrective feedback or questions are often experienced as criticism or a personal attack.
- Avoid difficult conversations. Rather than addressing the problem constructively, they avoid the situation, shut down or resort to indirect ways of expressing their negative feelings.
People who are low on the EI scale typically display some but not all of these behaviors. It is common for people to be competent in one area but lacking in another.
Building your team’s capabilities
The good news is that EI is a teachable skill and leaders can do a lot to increase the level in their teams. A good place to start is looking at your hiring and candidate evaluation criteria. Use EI assessments or behavioral interview questions that probe red flag behaviors outlined earlier.
Invest in training. Recognize that EI skills are as important to your team’s success as technical skills. Make ongoing EI training part of employees’ professional development. Ensure that leaders model high EI and embody the behavior the organization is seeking.
Most important, make EI an integral part of the culture. Incorporate EI principles into your core values, employee goals and performance evaluations.
The thread that holds us together
EI is no longer a “nice to have” soft skill; it’s become a “survival skill.” Few jobs are “solo work.” The complexity of business today creates interdependencies that hinge on trust and effective working relationships.
Some believe that the ability to forge genuine relationships is becoming a lost art. As more emotionally intelligent baby boomers retire, there’s a concern that generations raised on technology do not know and may lack the capacity for the uncomfortable work of forming relationships.
Neurologists observe that the shift from in-person to digital-first interaction has fundamentally changed our brain chemistry and social habits. Over time, we’ve become increasingly isolated. Communicating through technology feels less risky and more comfortable than direct real-time interaction with human beings.
Businesses that want emotionally intelligent employees need to take a proactive role in building the skills. It is vital for their prosperity and the health and well-being of the world we live in.
The author
Kimberly Paterson, Certified Executive Coach and Master Energy Leadership Coach, is president of CIM (www.cim-co.com), CIM works with organizations and individuals to maximize performance through positive lasting behavioral change. Her clients are property and casualty insurance companies, agencies, and brokers. She can be reached at kpaterson@cim-co.com. Follow Kimberly on www.linkedin.com/in/kimberly-paterson.
